What does a new relationship, friendship, business partnership bring to our lives? When someone new enters our life we experience the excitement of discovery. We are suddenly aware of new ideas; new sights; new music; reminders of old music long forgotten and now a welcome return; different foods; new ways of doing things; new plans and even expectations. It can make waking in the morning a joy or it can put a skip in our step. Whatever the effect it is delicious and wonderful.

We all have these experiences as people come into our lives. Depending on what brought these people to us will denote the types of new experiences we will have. Along with new people often comes a welcome change to our routines, attitudes and beliefs and   different energies to navigate. But on the whole we welcome these challenges as we feel a little more alive and connected to the world around us, we are excited to step-up to a new dynamic and we want to show we are open and ready for change. We grow a little more and even discover new abilities we didn’t know we had.

We welcome the change to our lives and celebrate all that the new person or partnership brings. These changes we experience help to motivate us to do things differently, to take on new learning or study. We examine our thoughts and beliefs and make subtle changes. For some of us  having new people and new routines can help us feel more supported and can ease our mental state, lightening the weight of ‘the blues’ as we realise the gifts new people bring into our lives. The gifts that new people bring to our lives are sometime over looked and we don’t realise this until either they have moved on or disappeared.

How have you experienced new people in your life recently? What have been their gifts? How do you celebrate these people and the gifts they have brought with them?  Take a moment and observe how your life has blossomed with the arrival of someone new.

​You can send your observations to Catherine@lifecnsulting.co.nz  I would love to hear about them.

​“Sitting quietly and steering into space while figuring out what to do next” Marie Shannon, Artist
These words sum up so much of the past several weeks, even months, for me. I marvel at the amount of time I can spend just sitting quietly, not meditating, just sitting quietly steering into space.  I have berated myself for what seems like a great waste of time. Then as time passed and I simply went with this need, it was as if the universe was getting me to see beyond the visible in the here and now.  Ideas began to appear in relation to all parts of my life, I started taking note of my ideas, not engaging with them as I wasn’t finished with sitting quietly.
Last night I went to a lecture given by the present artist in residence at Tylee Cottage, Whanganui,  Marie Shannon and I credit her quote at the top of this blog for clarifying what has been going on for me. I am figuring out all sorts of things I want to do next. This time spent in steering into space seems to be a very healthy way of moving from controlled planning to embrace the possibilities of the future. It seems a way of celebrating the changes in my energy since coming out of the dark space that long term depression enveloped me in.
I’m still figuring out what to do next as I now have a load of idea’s and images listed in my journal ready to focus on. It feels energising and exciting. Giving oneself the privilege of just sitting quietly steering into space, is a very health, self-loving thing to do. To spend time not pressuring yourself to make plans, to perform or be engaged with anything in particular allows us to be comfortable with our own stillness, our own silence. It gives us time to hear our inner creative self. It is what the romantic poet John Keats meant when he referred to negative capability as the “capacity of the greatest writers to purse a vision of artistic beauty even when it leads them into intellectual confusion and uncertainty” Wikipedia says “it is the ability of the individual to perceive, think and operate beyond any presupposition of a predetermined capacity of the human being”.
I wanted to share this very special experience with you just in case you are “sitting quietly steering into space” and maybe berating yourself for doing so. It is a very wonderful experience; enjoy your quiet time as it is a time of great incubation.
Let me know of about your quiet time, you will have wonderfully creative things to share with others and in turn this will encourage others toward their next beautiful idea or creation.

​World mental health day was on the 10th October, 2019. Personally I wondered how I should mark this day, and I rather inadvertently  settled on having a wonderful day. It felt good to be alive.  For I’ve known the black dog, and when he is absent I love life with a joy that is unparalleled. On such days, the black dog is a wee pup, harmless and playful with no bark and no bite.
But it hasn’t always been like that. The black dog has often been my faithful companion, snoozing beside me, guarding me, nipping my heels and insisting that she be seen. And in this respect I share much in common with other New Zealanders.
New Zealand does not stack up well in mental health statistics. A  government inquiry in 2018 into mental health and addiction in New Zealand revealed some sobering statistics. One in five New Zealanders are experiencing mental health or addiction issues at any one time. These include the 20,000 people who attempt to take their own lives every year. Up to 80% of the population will have a mental health of addiction issue during their life. 
The recommendation for support services included more access and choice. There was also a plea to treat addictions as health issues and a focus on building stronger communities. These are all sound ideas, and yet a year later it does not look like things are improving.
In the year to June 30, 2019 already 685 people had taken their lives. This was a 2.5 increase on the previous year. Behind the statistics are real people, real lives, and real loss.
Suicide. This single word has the power to stand alone. For there is no lonelier feeling that the pain of wanting to die. And there is no loss so great as that of ourselves and our hope. Except the loss of losing a loved one to suicide.
Suicide should not be a taboo subject, but a sensitive one that needs to be talked about. We should take that suicide word right out in the open and pay attention to it. Lives depend on it.
The best thing that can be done on World Mental Health Day is a commitment to the next 364 days where you can be kind. Kind to yourself and kind to others. We are not going to be able to address mental health issues in one day, but we can be present in all the 365 days of the year. We can acknowledge that the human condition is a fragile and nuanced one. Kindfulness is a state of being that while alone will not solve the world’s problems, is nonetheless important in the bigger picture.
The government has an important role here too. Putting money into support services , building strong communities and ensuring access to having basic needs met are significant measures. Bullying needs to be tackled in all its forms, and addictions should be treated and not punished.
But for today, for this moment, do something kind for someone, somewhere. Their life may depend on it.
 

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​​What comes to mind when you read or hear these words?

Are they words you say to yourself?

This is the title of Cassandra Gaisford’s latest book. It is the story of a little girl and her journey to believing in the gifts she was given when she came into this world. Hannah’s early experience of being “stunned” by another child’s words began her journey to accepting her gift of singing and sharing it with the world.

You can read my review here:

I Have to Grow by Cassandra Gaisford
Following on from her success with The Little Princess, Cassandra gives us another beautiful book. Although small it holds a huge message of believing in ourselves. So many of my clients suffer from self-doubt, stuck in their childhood messages where their light and magnificence was stunned by the words and/or actions of others, who were themselves suffering from damaging messages. This beautiful book reminds us to believe in ourselves and while that is often too big for us to attempt, it reminds us that enlisting in the help of a trusting ‘other’ can be transformative. Seeking help can come in the form of a trusted friend; a focused group or a good therapist. Working on our childhood wounds allows us to step into our full power and enables us to live the life we were born to love.
Catherine Sloan – Intuitive Therapist
 
What stops us from believing in or accepting our innate gifts? Many of my clients struggle with the belief that they are not good enough in some way.  They may have experienced hurtful criticism about some ability they showed as a child. The pain of childhood criticism has stunned them so that later in life they experience low moods or even depression This adult experience is possibly the beautiful gift they once knew they had or the dream they once truly believed is now seeking attention.

Sometimes we are affected by something happening in the here and now, unaware that this is a link to our past. This can be the deep forgotten skill or dream requesting to have a presence in the here and now. This is when looking for a way to support and manage our thoughts becomes very important

Recognising the need to do some deeper work, tracing the history and exploring the meaning can open up long forgotten dreams and lost skills. This work can feed our vitality, provide a shift in our energy and allow us to awakening to a fuller life, bring to the fore our own true beauty and strength of who we are.
The Pocket Oxford Dictionary describes the meaning of “Stun” as “astonish or shock someone so that they are temporarily unable to react”, and so many of us go through our lives with that part of ourselves still in shock. It is important to note that this is “temporary” and that you can explore these feelings, unearthing our forgotten talents and allow them to fully blossom.
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If you feel you would like to discover your hidden or forgotten talents then connecting with a good therapist could be the start of a whole new you. You can contact either myself or Cassandra at info@lifeconsutling.co.nz

To purchase your copy of I Have to Grow:
Navigate to Amazon here: getbook.at/IHavetoGrow

​To read the first book in Cassandra’s Transformational Super Kids series, The Little Princess:

Amazon:
getbook.at/TheLittlePrincess

To purchase the eBook or Print version on Apple, Barnes, and Noble, Kobo and other online stores>>
https://books2read.com/u/b5709p

And you can connect with Hannah here and find out how she has been inspired to use her voice for the well-being of others ​https://www.hannahjoyspirit.com

​​​What to do

​Is being stuck in your head-space an issue for you? It is for me and it is one of the most difficult states to break out of.
What to do when I’m really stuck? This question is one that I continue to struggle with at various times. For it is a feeling of being in my own way, stuck in my head, stuck in negative thought, self-hating conversations. So what can really move this? And right now in this moment that is exactly what is happening. I am noticing the shift in my body, first, of the tension that I have been aware of as part of the stuck negative place I have been in for the past 48 hours.  All I am doing is writing, by hand – pen on paper.

So this is what this week’s Blog is about. Being stuck, how I have come to write about how I have nothing to write in a Blog, recognising why I might be stuck and just letting it all drift out onto the page, allowing my intuitive self to just have the floor, have the space to say what all this is about.

Being stuck in a negative head space can be really challenging to deal with. But by just taking one thing that you might enjoy doing, without too much thought, and following the journey, noticing the changes that take place and accepting the movement.

 For my own journey through this very Stuck place is about becoming aware of my mental and emotional movement away from the negativity to a far more loving place, I become more free of this hard mean place. I then notice that I am thinking about other activities that my intuitive self offers up, such as:

• walking – out in the fresh air, seeing things that shift my thoughts, feeling my body move
• listening to a podcast by someone who inspires me
• doing something with my collection of art supplies as  inspiration appears
• meditating – the one thing that lets my mind just be still

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If being stuck in your own head space is a challenge for you – don’t try to reason with what might help, see if your intuition can come to the rescue. Ask yourself a simple question such as “what do I need right now?” and wait for your intuitive self to respond. It may hint at an activity and then maybe you could just follow that thought, that activity, not questioning anything, just following your intuitive self and observe the tiny changes that start to happen.

​If you would like to join the community at Living Well with Depression then click here
www.facebook.com/groups/livingwellwgtn/
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A new Facebook page Choice Living is coming soon  

Sometimes there is no underlying medical reason for depression. If this is the case with you then finding others to help you manage your journey to wellness is an important step.  Going it alone can add to the feelings we struggle with such as feeling isolated, disconnected from community, maybe even finding every day activities challenging. 

Finding help is also a challenge such as searching for the right mental health specialist.  Talk therapy, as it is sometimes referred to, can provide you with unconditional support and professional guidance. Also you might want to consider other forms of help such as:

• ​committing to meeting a good friend once a week and doing something together outdoors
• ​getting creative, even if you believe you are not creative – setting aside a weekly commitment and take yourself on an artist’s date (checkout Julia Cameron’s information on this) can be a delicious experience
• ​join others – in anything that sparks your interest or curiosity

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I want to focus on one of the suggestions above, (I will explore the other suggestions in later Blog posts) – that of finding a good therapist. One of the most rewarding experiences of finding the right therapist is that they will give you a sense of belonging, helping to break the cycle of isolation and feelings of “not good enough”.  A good therapist will also provide you with unbiased feedback on our thinking. So finding the right therapist is very important to our recovery journey.  Ways of going about the search is to ask friends or family members who they might know of.

However, sometimes even telling those close to us that we struggle with depression is a challenge in itself.  So go to the internet and explore – most therapists can be found through a simple search on Google. Then, either phone around or email those who’s profiles feel right to you.

Start your journey to wellness today; to connecting with others; to stepping into your true power and allowing your precious self to shine.

If you would like further ideas or wish to make an appointment to meet with one of us at Choice Life Consulting please go to the About Us page where you will learn a bit more about who we are and the ways in which we work and support our clients. Then make contact with either myself or Cassandra.

You can also join the Living Well With Depression Facebook page
www.facebook.com/groups/livingwellwgtn/

The day I started talking to myself
This was the day when my loneliness was almost suffocating me. My loneliness had been with me, as a constant companion and one I really didn’t want and often railed against it. It never helped me with my depression; in fact I think it was one of the main drivers of my depression. On this particular day I started talking to me. I had done this most of my life but the conversations were always negative, self-judging, and often mean. But this day was quite different, I started talking out load, not loudly but rather quiet in fact. I was instantly aware of my own voice, it wasn’t as I normally hear it, it was soft and gentle and I was also very aware of how caring it sounded.

I started by asking myself what I wanted, Peace came the immediate answer, and I waited – no judgement came. OK how was I going to find peace? Love - came the next word in my mind. And that is where the conversation stopped – it was a short conversation.
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I chose to just be with my very short first, non-judgmental, out loud conversation with myself. And now I am looking at love, self-love, and wonder why that is such a painful place to be. Where are your painful places in your head? What do they stop you from achieving? I would love to hear from you about your journey to self-love.

You can send your thoughts on your own self-love journey to me at Catherine@lifeconsulting.co.nz
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Getting Started
Two words, two simple words uttered millions of times in a life time, that could mean ‘making a move’, ‘taking action’, ‘starting off’ - whatever, but for me this Blog and those two words have been the biggest challenge I have faced in a very long time. Leaving my salaried job, selling my house, packing up  and moving, on my own, all of this was easier than getting started on this Blog – my very first. So what is so hard about writing something, anything? I could make it light, clever, even funny.

I believe that the challenge is all about self-exposure, because this Blog is about depression, about living well with depression, and about launching the Facebook book page Living Well with Depression. For a long time I have wanted to work with people for whom depression is an experience they live with every day, and an experience I lived with daily for 10 years.  The driving force to finally get words on a page is the passion I feel to assist those who want support in their daily lives to see that there are others to share the journey with. Depression is lonely and isolating.

​The Facebook page, there is an open page, and a Closed Group page for ongoing group support, is there for you, to make contact, to find inspiration, learn about Workshops I am running , and in time, to build an online community of small groups of member to meet online for regular ongoing support.
So finally – I have started. Phew!

www.facebook.com/groups/livingwellwgtn/